BUBBLE BUDDY BACON-FLAVORED DOG BUBBLES

$12 plus shipping and handling from The Paragon, P.O. Box 996, 89 Tom Harvey Rd. Westerly, R.I. 02891-0996, phone: 800-657-3934, Internet: www.paragon-gifts.com

Suggested by Andrea Higgins of Mount Pocono, Pa.

We all love dogs, and for a good reason: They are morons.

We mean that in a good way. We mean that dogs are extremely enthusiastic, always ready to play and fetch sticks and jump out of vehicles going 75 miles per hour.

Dogs also love to chase, and try to bite, soap bubbles. It's an instinct they acquired millions of years ago, when their wolf ancestors had to protect their young from wily predators such as the saber-toothed tiger, which would try, usually successfully, to distract the wolves by blowing bubbles.

That is the biological basis for this holiday gift concept for the dog on your list. It consists of a bubble dispenser and four ounces of bacon-flavored bubble solution. The Internet site we ordered from states that if you buy this product, you and your dog will, quote, ''have so much fun, you'll want to order refills now!''

We have no reason to doubt this claim, other than the report of our photographer, Chuck, who e-mailed us as follows:

''In extensive consumer testing, which consisted of trying to take pictures of five dogs, we have learned that the Bubble Buddy bubble-blowing toy for dogs, with bacon-scented bubbles, is of absolutely no interest to said dogs. Humans could detect no scent of bacon in the bubble mixture, nor could the dogs, by all evidence.''

(For the record, these five dogs all belong to a professional journalist, so we know they are fair and balanced.)

So we're not saying this product actually works. We're just saying, hey, WE bought it, so we're putting it in the Gift Guide.

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