BIRD DIAPERS

$24.99 for Flight Pack from Avian Fashions, 44 Mine Rd., Suite 2-347, Stafford, Va. 22554, phone: 888-412-POOP (7667), Internet: www.birddiaper.com

Suggested by Jodi Alexander of Fredericksburg, Va. and Buck Yocum of Terlingua, Texas.

Is there somebody on your holiday gift list who has a pet bird? And is that bird constantly making bird droppings all over the place? If so, we have the ideal gift for that person: a cat.

Ha ha! But seriously, you need to give that person a batch of FlightSuits brand bird diapers. Yes: bird diapers. We didn't believe it ourselves at first, but it appears to be absolutely true. This product comes from the folks at Avian Fashions (''Dare to think outside the cage!'') whose phone number is 888-412-POOP.

FlightSuits are little fabric deals with fabric fasteners that you attach to your bird. They come in a variety of colors and sizes, including a new model designed to fit ducks. The FlightSuit features a patented ''V''-pouch design that has many scientific benefits in regards to the handling of the bird's poop. This means that you no longer have to leave your bird at home when you go to the mall, parties, business meetings, weddings, funerals, etc. The Flight Quarters website (www.birddiaper.com/index.html) has technical details, as well as many moving testimonials testifying to the happiness that this product has brought into their lives.

We here at the Holiday Gift Guide can honestly state that, in all our years of evaluating quality merchandise, we have never encountered a bird diaper of this stature.

NEXT GIFT: OCTODOG FRANKFURTER CONVERTER