BULL ORGAN PUTTER

$99.95 plus shipping and handling from Pure Bull Products, P.O. Box 109, Lehi, Utah 84043, 877-828-3700, Internet: www.purebull.com

Here is a truly tasteful and extremely masculine item for the golfer on your holiday gift list. This is a putter made, in the words of the manufacturer, from ''the reproductive organ of a bull.'' When you see the size of this thing, you are definitely going to experience deep gratitude that you are not a cow of the female gender.

The bull putter comes with . . . no, wait, strike that. We mean to say the bull putter is accompanied by a list of hilarious ''one-liners,'' such as ''improve your stroke'' and ''be the stiffest competition on the course.'' It would not surprise us to learn that Tiger Woods has one of these babies in his bag, and whips it out to ''break the ice'' during tense moments in the Master's tournament. Mr. Sylvester Stallone has ordered more than 30 dozen of this item, and still is not sure he has enough.

It goes without saying that the president of the United States is never more than arm's length from this item.