A forest of lights can only mean that it's Christmas in Miami
I love Christmas in Miami. Oh, sure, it's not like Christmas up north. We don't have Jack Frost nipping at our nose: We have Harvey Heat Rash nipping at our underwear regions. And we never look outside on Christmas morning to discover that the landscape has been magically transformed by a blanket of white, unless a cocaine plane has crashed on our lawn.
We have some important news for those of you who've been harboring an urge to eat poinsettias. This news comes from an article in the Harrisburg, Pa., Patriot-News, sent in by alert reader Karen Durkin. The article makes this fascinating statement:
Dave Barrys Gift Guide
The holidays are a wonderful time of year, but too often, in all the excitement and craziness, we forget the real reason for the season. The holidays are not about parties, or decorations, or Frosty the Snowperson. Those things are fun, but they are not the true purpose of the holidays. The true purpose of the holidays is to purchase consumer electronics.
Ask Mr. Manners
TODAY'S ETIQUETTE QUESTION IS: I feel there is not enough suffering in my life, and would like to hold a birthday party for my preschool child at home. What is the etiquette involved?
A ruff and ready playmate
I'm trying to convince my wife that we need a dog. I grew up with dogs, and am comfortable with their ways. If we're visiting someone's home, and I suddenly experience a sensation of humid warmth, and I look down and see that my right arm has disappeared up to the elbow inside the mouth of a dog the size of a medium horse, I am not alarmed. I know that this is simply how a large, friendly dog says: ''Greetings! You have a pleasing salty taste!''
Selected Columns 2008 - 2011
Dave smells a rat -- no, really - 2/12/11
Dave goes to a Barry Manilow concert
2010 Year in Review (1-1-11)
A tiger escapes from Jungle
Dave goes On Safari
Dave goes to The
Dave does football
Dave's 2010 Holiday Gift Guide (12/4)
Dave's 2010 Year In Review (1/2/11)
For Classic columns see Dave's Herald
Book excerpts from I'll Mature When I'm Dead:
Miami and murder
The Inaugural Parade (2009)
Dave Covers The Super Bowl:
Miami Visitors' Guide
Goes to the Conventions
- Eyeballs on the Prize
- They Hear You Knockin'...But You Can't Come In
- There's a Party Going on Right He....shhhh!
- The Feminine Mystique?
- Don't Fence Me In
gallery from the RNC
- Mile-High Drama
- Denver - It's Not Easy Being Green
- The Floor Exercise
- Green Grow the Lileks
- The Great State of Whatever
gallery from the DNC
- Lost in Translation
2 - Is This Wall Great or What?
- Tastes Like Chicken
- Dave Gets Around
- A Night At The Opera
- The Name Game
- This Little Columnist Goes to Market
- Are You Ready to Rock and Roll?
- The City of Harmonious Harmony
- Beijing: It's Been Real
and the Dolphins (June)
Dave Hits the Silver Screen (April)
Does His Taxes (April)
Presidential Primary - Voting Method (March)
World - The Colonoscopy (Feb.)
Presidential Primary - South Beach (Feb.)